I feel like I’m on a game show – it’s called “Are you pregnant yet?”  As each month goes by where I’m still in wedded bliss but without child – the stares from inquisitors hang longer, the speculation intensifies and the pressure surmounts.  Wearing loose sweaters, ravenously eating a Snickers and one missed glass of wine now means I’ve got a “bun in the oven”.  So, I rebel.  I wear clothing that hugs tightly, I eat healthy but not to heartily, and I overindulge in wine, vodka and other alcoholic pleasures. 

 

There must be some rule book somewhere that states thou shall procreate asap after the wedding.  And if I tell people, “one day we will but we’re enjoying ourselves right now” it’s like there’s something wrong with you.  The glares, the puzzled glances – it’s enough to drive anyone a little bit mad.  I was at a bridal shower a couple of weeks ago and a friend’s new born baby was in attendance – sweet little thing (see, I can think babies are cute) – and someone (thank you by the way) suggested I hold him.  I have to admit, babies scare me.  It’s their fragility that scares me.  I worry if I lean their head on an awkward angle or take too long to make them comfortable I’m liable to hurt them.  I obliged and held the baby; he lasted about three seconds before crying.  Three seconds!  His mom was extremely kind and said he was hungry and I appreciated the consoling but I knew that wasn’t the only thing.

 

Clearly, there are some things to work out here on my end before I embrace the possibility of pregnancy.  There are women who naturally cling to babies, toddlers, children period and there are those who grow into it.  I’m the latter (in case that wasn’t obvious) and so what if it takes me longer to get used the idea of carrying a live human being inside of me.  And to the inquisitors, I’ll try and reduce the number of loose sweaters I wear (thank goodness I don’t own that many) and you’ll know when my bun starts to bake.