Baby Predictor? This could be interesting . . .

I’m not into palm reading, tarot cards or other psychic readings.  I’m not sure if I don’t believe in them or if I’m in the camp of just letting things happen as they should.  I have had my palm read once many, many years ago and there was nothing out of that reading I didn’t know.  Given, my experience, it never occurred to me that I could predict my baby(ies). 

 

A few weeks ago a friend asked if I wanted to try a non-scientific baby predictor.  With so many emotions and thoughts swirling around the idea of pregnancy and motherhood – how could I not be curious.  Perhaps, it would be easier knowing what was going to happen.  I agreed.  Here’s what she did: she took my engagement ring, removed a silver necklace she was wearing and put the ring through the necklace.  Hmmm?  Here’s what she tells me: she’s going to hold the necklace and let the ring hang, if the ring moves forward and back it’s a girl; if the ring moves in a circle it’s a boy; and if the ring does not move then there will be no children. 

 

I prayed the ring would move – it not moving was not an option for me.  Good news, the ring moved twice.  I won’t share the sexes but it was exciting.  My friend told me she did this with a few other girlfriends and the results were conclusive.  Was part of that a subconscious movement because she knew a girlfriend had already had two boys?  I don’t know but what I do know is I want to believe.

I think I have enough stretch marks – thank you very much.

I saw a photograph recently of Minnie Driver (congratulations, by the way on the new baby).  She was wearing a bikini in Hawaii, St. Tropez or some other hot, tropical place where the rich congregate and her pregnant belly was – well quite pregnant.  I felt stunned for a moment – she was really pregnant.  Not that I haven’t been around pregnant women before, I have.  I’ve seen them walking around at four months, six months, eight months even nine months but usually there was a barrier – a shirt!  Something threw me off with this photograph – how is the human skin able to stretch so much?  And how could it possibly go back into place?

 

Admittedly, I can be a tad vain (friends, no comments please), but I am sorry; I cannot imagine how I am going to let my belly grow that big.  How will it ever come back to me?  I already have to deal with stretch marks (too many in my opinion) and now I have to deal with some more.  And what is this muffin top I keep hearing about?  A muffin top… are you kidding me?!!?  Wikipedia reports that stretch marks are a “form of scarring on the skin” that may fade over time but will not disappear.  Hmmm, so these silvery lines will multiply – on my stomach?  Are there any other women afraid of these?  All I keep hearing is that pregnancy is the greatest thing on earth; it changes your life; you’ll never be the same again.  Am I completely out to lunch for worrying about this whole stretching of the skin thing?  Does the world expect that I just procreate, let my body be what it will be – am I supposed to just shut up about this and buy stretch mark and cellulite creams?  Do I have to be ashamed when I walk into the drugstore to buy these?  Is a pair of loose jogging pants and a hoodie that covers my soon to be even darker “under my eye” bags appropriate so I am no longer recognized? 

 

It seems like it’s not okay to think about these things and it’s not okay to be worried about how you’ll look afterwards.  That I should be so consumed with my baby that I won’t care what happens or the fact that my once flat, toned tummy now resembles my favourite morning breakfast item.